We’re settling in, the animals are (mostly) behaving, and I finally seem to be getting all the kinks worked out with my new toy. Give that one a few days though, I had to reset it AGAIN last night. That’s three times in less than 2 weeks, btw. If it happens again, I have clear written instructions from the Microsoft online tech support people to take it into a Microsoft store and demand they replace it. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that. The good news is, this doesn’t seem to be a wide spread issue, so the odds are if I need to have it replaced, I won’t have to worry about it happening with a new machine. *crosses fingers*
I’m *officially* ignoring my parents. I haven’t told them why, and I know how cowardly that sounds. But I just need some time to think and settle down. The last couple of months have just been absolutely insane and I just need time to process. And it’s not like the next few months are going to be without their problems as well.
My biggest problem is my dad. He called me a couple of days ago wanting to “catch up,” which is code for bitch about the problem that we’re all currently dealing with. And if I have to listen to him bitch about it, I am going to explode, and it will not be pretty. The further instructions from my mom of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” are just REALLY rubbing me the wrong way. We wouldn’t be here today if it hadn’t been for your and dad’s poor decisions over the last two decades, so you don’t get to claim some kind of immunity now that it’s all blowing up in your faces. And we ALL know what is going to happen if someone doesn’t say something. I’m the oldest, so of course it falls to me. I just need time to figure out what to say and how to say it.
And that last part is what has me tied up in fucking knots. No matter how I say it, it is going to be bad. There is no getting around that, and it kills me that I am going to hurt my mom, because I know she has good intentions. I couldn’t possibly care less at this point about my dad. He refuses to even acknowledge his part in this, even though his is the most fucking important. If he doesn’t realize how badly he messed up, there is no point in even trying, because we will be right back here six months from now. And what reason does he have to change? The truth is, he doesn’t. He has no reason, none at all. So I have to convince him he has a reason. I’m not sure I’m that good.
I’ve bitched enough though, and I promise more interesting topics of conversation in the coming days and weeks, so just bear with me. ❤