After 5 1/2 years together, I married my best friend and the love of my life on October 25th, 2014. We were surrounded by family and friends as we made the most important commitment two people can make to each other. The photo above was taken shortly after the ceremony by our wonderful photographer, whose site can be found HERE. I should be getting more photos soon, which I will be sure to post here.
And before I knew it, we’d been married for 2 1/2 months. Where has the time gone?
For me, it was spent existing, recharging after a stressful few months and evaluating where I want to be. I made family and friends a priority and took a step back from everything to find out what is really important to me, and what could take a back seat as far as my priorities were concerned. The one thing that stood out to me during my little sabbatical was how much I missed writing. My old journalism professor contacted me about writing a story for their alumni series during my break from everything. To be honest, I almost didn’t do it. I was afraid to put myself out there. Afraid of being rejected by the much larger audience. It truly is ironic that I chose to write about bullying since I was essentially engaging in self-bullying throughout pretty much the entire process of writing the article.
But when it was over? I couldn’t have felt more relieved. There was something almost cathartic about letting my words flow to the screen and take on a life of their own. And seeing them published somewhere other than my little corner of the web, knowing that someone else got what I was trying to say, was a huge boost to my confidence.
And then I tanked again. I kept logging onto wordpress, hoping that inspiration would strike, only to log out an hour later with nothing to show for it. I scrolled through post after post on my reader, looking for inspiration from my fellow writers, only to come up blank. I even checked out the daily post prompts, all to no avail. I was stuck again. Ironically, I could journal up a storm, I just couldn’t find the inspiration to publish what I was writing.
So I didn’t publish anything. But I found myself missing it. Journaling wasn’t enough, I needed to make my voice heard. Even if it was just a few people who heard me, that would be enough. Which brings me to today. I spent the last half hour at work tweaking my blog, activating a new theme (isn’t it pretty?), tweaking it to what I wanted it to be, and seriously thinking about what I wanted to write.
I still don’t have the answer to that last question. Inspiration is a fickle bitch sometimes. The only thing that clearly stuck out to me was the day I married Joe. But what could I write about that? More importantly, what could I write about that day that was worth publishing? It was long, I was exhausted by the end of the day, but it was worth every stress, every obstacle, and every single distraction to see Joe standing at the end of that ridiculously long aisle, waiting for me. Being surrounded by our families and friends made it the perfect day, knowing that they were there to celebrate with Joe and I. But it was bittersweet as well since most of them live far away and we don’t get to see them that often.
All that to say, I’m going to try. I know I’ve said that in the past and failed miserably, but I am going to try.